You've Got a Friend in Me

Yes I know I have been silent for the past 8 months. Our family has been slowly working through repatriating back to the United States and coming to Texas. There will be a blog entry soon on how things have gone, but today I want to write about something different -- friendships.

When we learned our family would be coming to Texas Emily begged us to let her stay in Japan and finish her senior year. We obviously shot that idea down and told her she had two options - Spend her senior year counting down the days until high school was through or go and immerse herself in the school and making friends. To our surprise not only did she choose the second option, but she went above and beyond we ever could have imagined.

Emily is graduating from high school in 9 days. I won't even get into that right now as I am out of Kleenex and I can already feel the tears coming on just thinking about it. She has been counting down the days until she is finally done with high school and until she checks into her dorm in Lubbock for months. She has been talking non-stop about how much she can't wait to start the new chapter of her life. Until last night. It finally has dawned on her that life is about to totally change, and the friendships she has worked so hard in making this past year, will change.

Last night as the tears were brimming in Emily's eyes and she declared she was no longer going to graduate, I told my daughter my thoughts on friendships.

First, you have those that are "friendships by location". These are people whom you are friends with because of where you live or maybe an activity in which you or your child may be involved. These are people that you know if your location or activity changes, it was fun while it lasted but you will part ways and not really think twice.

Next, you have friends that you may communicate with on social media or see each other every once in a while, but in a time of need they won't be the person you call or contact. They are more acquaintance friends.

Then you have what I call good friends. These are people that you may communicate with often or do things with when you can. These people may or may not live in the same place as you. These are people that if you need something you know you can call upon them and vice versa. There is an equal amount of effort to maintain this type of friendship.

Finally, you have what I call life-long friends. These are people that you know in a moments notice they will be there. You know you can call them at 2 am sobbing and they wouldn't even blink, even if it has been months since you spoke last. These are people that you may not see or talk with often but you know they will always have your back. Friendship between the two of you comes easy.

I am blessed with amazing friends. Some I have been friends with for over 20 years, while others I have met along the path of my life. As I told Emily, distance doesn't have to stop a friendship. It may and probably will change, but that change isn't always bad. With the technology options today, you can communicate with just about anyone, anywhere, anytime around the globe. The choice is hers.
Walking across that stage in 9 days, doesn't have to be an end-- it can be just the beginning of something great.

There are those who pass like ships in the night, who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight with never a backward glance of regret, folks we know briefly then quickly forget. Then there are friends who sail together, through quiet waters and stormy weather, helping each other though joy and through strife. And they are the kind who give meaning to life. ~ Unknown

Cyber "Lessons"

In today's technology driven world almost everyone is "connected". You want ideas on the best places to travel and within minutes there is more than enough information at your fingertips to make an educated decision. There are online support groups and message boards for just about any topic you can think of –– from parenting to buying a new car to moving to India. Friendships are formed online. Relationships are made. And many times there are lessons to be learned.

I love reading blogs. Some of my favorite blogs tend to be travel-based where I can visit some of the world's most amazing places through someone else's words. Sometimes I find great recipes or photography tips. Other times I find things entries that make me laugh. And quite often I read blogs that can bring tears to my eyes. Here are just three examples from many who have inspired me lately.

I have been part of an online parenting community called Storknet since February 2001. I have made some amazing friends over the past 11 years and the members there helped me through some of the darkest times after losing Allison. Two years ago one of our members, Stephanie, tragically passed away at barely 33-years-old. She had two little kids, ages 3 and 19 months.  Over the past two years her husband has been blogging about his journey in life without Stephanie.  His strength and faith never ceases to amaze me. He has found ways to keep Stephanie's memory alive in each and every day. His ability to find joy in his children, in life and in God should be a testament to each one of us.

During my last two years of high school my mom met a wonderful woman while working on the school levy campaign. This woman went on to become one of mom's best friends. I dated her stepson, her daughters were in Matt's and my wedding, and she was the first person I reached out to when my mother died. No matter how much time has passed since we last spoke, she is there when I need her. She has raised two awesome daughters, who also share her best qualities. Her oldest, Kate, has started a blog called Perchable, where she helps inspire parents to be the best they can be and recognizes special people who truly are "perchable" and are making an impact on children’s lives. She has such a way with words and each one of her entries will leave you with wanting to be a better parent and person.

It was through Kate that I discovered the Perry family's blog, Carrying Collin.  Joanna and Brian had great careers, just purchased their first home and were expecting their first child. In April, their world came crashing down as they found out their unborn son, Colin Patrick, had anencephaly. As I write this blog entry, Joanna is in labor. Colin Patrick is not expected to live more than minutes. Losing a child is something no person should ever have to go through. Every blog entry they write and photo they take, while full of heartache, is a great reminder that there is hope, even when all hope seems lost. There is a reason to smile, even when we cannot see why. There is a reason to be thankful in each and every day.

It is amazing how people whom you may have never met "in real life" and probably never will, can impact you. How their strength and faith and tenacity can make you want to strive to be a better person. How through their words you can be reminded that life is short and you should stop wasting it on the things and people in life who don't matter or care and start spending it with the things and people who do. Sometimes, all it takes is a few clicks to remember some of the most important life lessons.

7th Grade Ski Trip

Every February the middle school students at Canadian Academy take a 3-day winter ski trip. Each grade goes to a different ski resort somewhere in Japan. Imagine my stress when after only being here a month we were to send our little girl on an airplane with a bunch of kids and chaperones that we did not know to Northern Japan for 3 days. But after all the worrying on our end, the trip turned out to be an amazing experience for Emily.

The kids waiting at the airport to leave for their trip.

The 7th grade class went to Shizukuishi Ski Resort, located in the Iwate prefecture of Japan.



They had 3 days of skiing, sledding, snowball fights, eating, and learning about climates, weather, physics, and even how to market their own ski resort.

The kids doing a learning exercise.

Emily said that it snowed so hard at times that you could barely see.


Emily had an awesome time and it was good for her to get to know the kids better and to start making friendships.

I think next year Matt will chaperone.