Monday my kids head back to school. It is always bittersweet at the beginning of the school year knowing that each school year brings more independence and one less year until my children leave the nest and head out to tackle life on their own. For those with small children and thinking to themselves "what is she thinking" believe me. One day you will be changing their diaper and reading them Goodnight Moon and the next you will be watching them load the bus off for **gulp** middle school. (can you tell I have an issue with this whole middle school thing?)
But this school year is extra bittersweet. I should be buying three sets of colored pencils. Three pairs of scissors. Three sets of notebooks, binders and filler paper. As this is the year Allison would be starting kindergarten. It is milestones as such starting school that are a blatant reminder of the harsh reality that is my life. That 5 years ago all my thoughts and dreams of kindergarten, middle school, prom, graduation and college will never happen.
So Monday I will watch with a heavy heart as my kids get on the bus for another year of math, reading, homework and making new friends and I will allow myself for a moment, just a small moment, to wonder "what if".