'Twas the Night Before Texas

'Twas the night before Texas,

And all through the hotel,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a... forget it. Nothing rhymes with hotel.

It has been 4.5 years since we moved to Japan.  I remember nervously putting our "babies" on a plane and heading to Japan, not having any idea what may lie ahead. 

Tomorrow evening Matt and I will put our youngest two children on a plane and embark back to the United States on a new adventure to Dallas, Texas. Our oldest daughter will follow at the end of June.

I have to admit, I am in serious denial about this move. In some ways it is surreal. Maybe it is because I have so many people tell me how difficult repatriating is supposed to be and I don't want to deal with it.  Maybe it is because I am leaving my first-born child behind for three months, when we have never been apart for more than a week. Or maybe it is because I have fallen so much in love with Japan, the culture, and the friendships I have built, that the idea of leaving is hard to think about. But the reality is, in less than 24 hours I will be in the air over the Pacific Ocean, hopefully sleeping with the help of a few bottles glasses of wine. 

Our goal when coming to Japan was to embrace the culture and gain as much as we could from this experience. I think we have not only achieved, but surpassed that goal. We climbed Mt Fuji with our older two kids and 16 other Caterpillar ISEs. We have been skiing, camping, white water rafting and road tripping throughout Japan. We have learned to embrace onsens and eat raw fish. We have experienced some of the world’s most beautiful beaches, ziplined through jungles, ridden on elephants, visited seaweed farms, hiked thorough Vietnam, crawled through the same tunnels as soldiers in the Vietnam War, snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef and saw cows walking down the streets of some of the poorest areas of Asia.  My family has been blessed over and over during our time here. 

There are some things I never thought I would experience, like the 2011 earthquake and getting stitches in a rural Vietnam clinic by someone who was probably the village vet.  I went on two disaster relief trips to Tohoku shortly after the earthquake and the experiences I had during my time up North will be ones that stay with me forever. I am already thinking about ways to get involved in missions and service trips in parts of South America. 

I will take away many lessons from my 4.5 years here. The Japanese language is hard. I will never be fluent, or even close.  Japanese beer is way stronger than US beer. Everything here is a process, and if you think it should take an hour you better double that. Forget clothing style, anything goes, especially Little Bo Beep wear. Most people do not speak English, yet they will go out of their way to help you. Taking the train everywhere is way easier than driving, Japanese people can find a reason to smile in the midst of the worst tragedy. And people leaving is a hard reality of expat life and unfortunately it is now our time go. 

Most importantly, I have learned that when you pack up your three children and move to the other side of the world where you know no one, cannot speak the language and drive on the opposite side of the road, the people around you become your family. And boy are we going to miss our amazing family here in Kobe. 

In Japanese, the word for goodbye is sayonara. I do not believe in goodbyes, so as we board the plane tomorrow, heading to what I hope to be another amazing adventure, I will bid this beautiful country and all my friends ja mata, or as we say in English "see you later". Because anything else, I hope, is false. 

The "Other" Side of the Story

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."  Helen Keller

 

 I can honestly say I do not regret our decision, even for a minute, of accepting this assignment in Japan. In just the short 15 months we have been here, our family has already experienced so much more than I ever could have dreamed.  However, with all of the fun, travels and adventures there are also frustrating, hard and lonely times. Being an expat is amazing, but it is also much harder than it sometimes may appear. 

When we accepted this assignment, we went into it with the attitude that every day will be an adventure. I think as an expat you have to have that type of attitude or you may very well spend most days in tears. 

One of the hardest parts is being away from family and friends. I haven't seen my family in almost 10 months. Sure there is email, phone, and even Skype, but it isn't the same. And while we haven't lived closer than 8 hours to family in over 10 years, there is comfort in knowing we are at least in the same country if needed. It takes us almost 24 hours to even get back between traveling to the airports and connections. We have six nieces and nephews that have become totally different people in the past 10 months. And while I have been able to stay in close contact with friends, I miss them dearly. It is hard knowing that when a friend may need an extra shoulder to cry on that I can't physically be there to help. 

Moving to a country where English is seldom used and where the alphabet is totally foreign is very challenging. I remember visiting Paris and while I had no idea what things meant, I at least could read and sound out the signs, menus and other written materials. Here, everything written looks like my kids trying to draw at the age of 2. And trying to speak, most times forget it. Unless you are asking "what is your name or where are you from" many times it is like the blind leading the blind. (However I can play a killer game of charades) Imagine trying to do the simplest thing, like mailing a letter, when you have no idea how to communicate "I need a stamp" and "how long will it take to get there?"  Getting directions?  Forget it. (Although we have had some awesome people walk us to where we need to go before)

Everyday conveniences turn into work. The way you cook changes due to availability and ease of getting items. The way you shop totally changes. You need Tylenol?  Good luck at the pharmacy. Going to the Dr for an ear ache?  Not as simple as calling, talking to a nurse and asking for an appointment. And once you are in the doctor office (after you find a translator to call for you) the most basic questions turn into a long, frustrating process. Unless someone is sending mail from back stateside or from the school, we never can read what shows up in our mailbox. Driving anywhere is quite an adventure, especially when it is all done on the opposite side from where I was taught. Most times, our mode of transportation is our own two feet and/or a train.

Sticker shock -- come to Japan and you will have major sticker shock. A gallon of gas is $6. A gallon of milk ranges from $6 - $7. A draft beer at the bar is $8. Apples range from $1 - $1.58 each. A watermelon?  You are looking at $10-$15 easy.  Unless you are buying chicken breast or hard liquor, most items here are much more expensive than in the States.

Thankfully there is a wonderful expat community here. People become each other's "family". A good support system is an important key on those days when you just want to crawl under the covers, click your heels three times and hope to be back in the security of what we know. The hard part is that most of us expats here have what I like to call an "expiration date."  We are here for a certain amount of time and when that time is over we pack our bags and head home or on to the next adventure. So one minute you have have 20 people to lean on and the next they are gone.

 

Often times I feel like I live in this bubble of sorts. I have no real clue what is totally going on all around me and I feel separated from things back in the States. Life is just, well, different. But, no matter what challenges come with each day, I would never change it for anything. I believe without a doubt, that we are exactly where God wants us right now.

Lessons from Class

As you know, we have been taking language lessons since October to help prepare us for the move next month. We have been learning speaking, writing and reading. It is so hard because the Japanese language does not translate word for word. In fact, not even close. And the grammar is different, as is the alphabet.

Today in class I learned how to type on a computer in Japanese. I am not sure how much I will need to do this, however it still is pretty cool to learn. I also learned how to write each of our names.

Here is some of what I learned today in my class.

おはようございます。Good morning!

はじめまして。How do you do?
アレキスです。My name is Alexis.
どうぞよろしくお願いします。Please to meet you

Here is my first Japanese letter.

直美様 Dear Naomi:

こんにちは。お元気ですか。Good afternoon. Are you fine?

ミーティングは９じから１２時までです。The meeting is from 9 until 12.

ではまた。さようなら。See you later. Good bye.

アレキス Alexis

And the names of everyone in my family. Again, some of our names have to be reworked to make them fit within the Japanese language.

アレキス Alexis

エミリー Emily
クリス Chris
サミ Sami
マット Matt

ジェイコブ　Jacobs

Should it stay or should it go?

Sounds like a Clash song in the making, huh? However it is nothing as cool as that. Rather it is going through every closet, drawer, box, shelf and nook and cranny to decide what to take with us to Japan and what to either leave here in storage or to give away.

When we first got back from our home finding trip in September Matt and I went through all the boxes in the attic and then each room to decide which furniture to take. At that point I thought we were done. Oh so wrong. While we are not leaving for another 57 days, all our belongings will be packed and on their way to Japan in 25 days. So I really need to spend the next few weeks getting everything sorted through. And that is no easy task.

Weeding through clothing that hasn't been worn in years (my husband is very guilty of this) or ditching clothing that does not fit is simple. But what about toys, items in closets that are "just in case" or seasonal, personal collections? How does one determine what should be boxed away to sit in a warehouse and pray nothing happens to need a home insurance claim or what should be given to Goodwill? Is it worth taking something that may be used for 6 months, when we will be gone 3 years? What memories do you take with you, what do you store? What about those few boxes that while opening them brings tears and heartache, just knowing they are close brings comfort?

How would you decide?

Disappointment

Matt was coming back in 18 more days. Now it will be 46. He was coming back for Thanksgiving. Now it will be Christmas. Disappointed is all I can think to say without getting upset. On a good note, when Matt does comes back he is staying until January 12. Always try to find the positive, right?