You've Got a Friend in Me

Yes I know I have been silent for the past 8 months. Our family has been slowly working through repatriating back to the United States and coming to Texas. There will be a blog entry soon on how things have gone, but today I want to write about something different -- friendships.

When we learned our family would be coming to Texas Emily begged us to let her stay in Japan and finish her senior year. We obviously shot that idea down and told her she had two options - Spend her senior year counting down the days until high school was through or go and immerse herself in the school and making friends. To our surprise not only did she choose the second option, but she went above and beyond we ever could have imagined.

Emily is graduating from high school in 9 days. I won't even get into that right now as I am out of Kleenex and I can already feel the tears coming on just thinking about it. She has been counting down the days until she is finally done with high school and until she checks into her dorm in Lubbock for months. She has been talking non-stop about how much she can't wait to start the new chapter of her life. Until last night. It finally has dawned on her that life is about to totally change, and the friendships she has worked so hard in making this past year, will change.

Last night as the tears were brimming in Emily's eyes and she declared she was no longer going to graduate, I told my daughter my thoughts on friendships.

First, you have those that are "friendships by location". These are people whom you are friends with because of where you live or maybe an activity in which you or your child may be involved. These are people that you know if your location or activity changes, it was fun while it lasted but you will part ways and not really think twice.

Next, you have friends that you may communicate with on social media or see each other every once in a while, but in a time of need they won't be the person you call or contact. They are more acquaintance friends.

Then you have what I call good friends. These are people that you may communicate with often or do things with when you can. These people may or may not live in the same place as you. These are people that if you need something you know you can call upon them and vice versa. There is an equal amount of effort to maintain this type of friendship.

Finally, you have what I call life-long friends. These are people that you know in a moments notice they will be there. You know you can call them at 2 am sobbing and they wouldn't even blink, even if it has been months since you spoke last. These are people that you may not see or talk with often but you know they will always have your back. Friendship between the two of you comes easy.

I am blessed with amazing friends. Some I have been friends with for over 20 years, while others I have met along the path of my life. As I told Emily, distance doesn't have to stop a friendship. It may and probably will change, but that change isn't always bad. With the technology options today, you can communicate with just about anyone, anywhere, anytime around the globe. The choice is hers.
Walking across that stage in 9 days, doesn't have to be an end-- it can be just the beginning of something great.

There are those who pass like ships in the night, who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight with never a backward glance of regret, folks we know briefly then quickly forget. Then there are friends who sail together, through quiet waters and stormy weather, helping each other though joy and through strife. And they are the kind who give meaning to life. ~ Unknown

Smarter with Age-- I Think Not

Back in November 2009, I stupidly agreed to do the famous Kansai 56K (34.8 miles) hike. To my defense I was caught up in the excitement of completing such a feat while living in Japan. I mean, when else would I get to experience such an amazing adventure?  Apparently three years later.

Yes, you heard it. I am doing that stupid, crazy, no fun, painful, toenail injuring, long, hike again. Somehow my "friends" (I mean really are they your friends if they talk you into something so stupid and make you give into peer pressure?) convinced me that it will be a great, memorable time that we can forever look back on doing together. I will reserve judgement until after Nov. 11, but somehow I am thinking it will not be as fun as promised.

It's Time For Moving On My Friend

There was a song my high school back in Ohio sang at every graduation called It's Time For Movin' On by Don Besig. I remember graduation being bittersweet as we were excited for what lied ahead, yet sad for what we were leaving behind. I am not sure why, but the past few weeks with the upcoming repatriation of some of my closest friends, I have really been thinking about the lyrics of that song. I have to admit, the song is a wee bit cheesy. However, it still seems to sum up how I have felt the past few weeks.

We've travelled a long, long time together
And there have been alot of good things on the way,
But now, it's almost time for leavin'
And the things I feel inside are very hard to say.
 

But it's time for moving on, my friend; hold back all the tears and sorrow,
It finally is time, to go our separate ways.
And I want to wish you well, my friend,
As we search for new tomorrows.
Go, as you must, but please,
Don't forget the yesterdays.

Remember the dreams we dreamed together,
All of the joys we shared at getting to today.
Now just one time, before you leave,
Reach out, and take my hand,
And help me walk away.

For it's time for moving on, my friend; hold back all the tears and sorrow,
It finally is time, to go our separate ways.
And I want to wish you well, my friend,
As we search for new tomorrows.
Go, as you must, but please... Don't forget the yesterdays.

When you are an expat, those around you become more than your friend –– they become your family.  We are thrown into a situation where we live 10,000 miles away from our family and friends and only have each other to rely upon. When our child is sick or we are missing our family back home, it is those around us that swoop in. When we are struggling, it is those around us that carry us through those trials. When we feel like we don't fit into our old life anymore, it is those around us that can sympathize. (I promise I will not burst out into the song "We Are Family", although it really would be an appropriate time) When these people leave, our support system is broken. A family member is missing. And to be honest, it just. plain. sucks.

It is hard knowing we may never see some of the people who are leaving ever again. Many times they live in a different country, where visiting may be nearly impossible. Luckily there is technology like Facebook and Skype that can help ease the distance. Others we promise to visit or keep in touch, but as everyone settles into their new lives, busyness sets in and keeping in touch becomes scarce.

I am not sure why this year is harder than last year. Maybe it is because I have been here another year and had that time to grow closer to people. Maybe it is because I see how some of the people leaving will deeply affect my kids. Maybe it is because my one of my closest friends here is leaving, and I will be all alone in the Scarab Heights compound. Maybe it is because this year was a hard between my injury in Vietnam and the disaster in Japan, which made us all lean upon each other more. Or maybe it is because I fear next year we may be the ones saying goodbye.

So to all those who are leaving this year, all those who are about to embark upon a great, new adventure, Go, as you must, but please... Don't forget the yesterdays.

Traveling Japan -- Shiraishi Island

Over Golden Week we decided to go with another family for a little getaway to Shiraishi Island. This small little fishing village is 25 minutes away by ferry from Okayama. This is the perfect place if you want peace, quiet and to get away from the daily life.

We stayed at the International Villa, which consists of 4 western bedrooms and 1 tatami room. We were the only ones staying there so we had the whole house to ourselves, which was perfect for making meals. There is one restaurant, a beach bar that is open seasonally, a small liquor store for beer and sake and a tiny grocery store.  You can walk through the houses, admiring all the small gardens along the way.

Beach season in Japan is typically July - mid-August so we didn't have to worry about disturbing anyone with our six energetic kids. (Not that the beach on Shiraishi Island ever gets really crowded given its location) The kids had a blast running, playing in the sand, finding a few cool starfish and even doing a bit of rock climbing.

While the kids enjoyed playing on the beach, the adults enjoyed hanging at the Moo Bar. The typical opening season for the Moo Bar isn't until June, but the owners had a special opening just for Golden Week. Needless to say, we were very excited. There were a few other "island guests" besides us and we really enjoyed talking to the owner, who happens to also be from Ohio! (Small world, huh?)

There are only about 500 people living in Shiraishi Island. Since it was so small, we were able to walk or ride bikes around the whole island easily.  Chris really enjoyed riding a bike around, while Sami and Caleb prepared for the next season of Survivor tryouts.

The last day we decided to try a small hike that was recommended to us. What we thought would be quick and easy turned into a 3 hour hike.

Sadly our time was over before we knew and it was back to the "city" for us.  You can see many more pictures from our time here.

True Blessings

We all go through some bumpy roads in life. Some are paved with a pothole here and there, while others are totally beyond repair and in desperate need of being redone. Some roads are brightly lit, while others are dirt trails leading into a path full of thorns and weeds.  But no matter what the path may be, I think the Beetles said it best when they sang: "I get by with a little help from my friends."

In my life I have been truly blessed with some amazing people. When my MIL passed away, we came home to a house that had been cleaned and a yard that had been mowed. When we went through the hellish time with Allison and then loosing her, I cannot even begin to say all the amazing things people did, both ones we knew and ones we didn't. Someone we had never met held a blood drive for Allison because neither Matt nor I were able to donate blood to her. Letters and cards of support and prayers came from all over the world. To know that people all over the world were praying for my family and my daughter, and still do to this day, is just too overwhelming to even form words. We have friends from college that we know would jump in front of a bus for us, and I hope they know we would do the same.

In each move we have made, we have met people whom we have formed bonds with that will last a lifetime. We have some friends who went above what a friend should do and held our dying dog in their arms until she passed while my family was on vacation. Friends who laid in bed with me for 4 weeks every day and watched The Food Network while I was on bed rest with Samantha.  This past week friends have driven me places, shopped for me and even sat and cleaned my disgusting knee while getting my stitches out. And as crazy as it sounds, I have some very close friends who I have never even met in person. (Okay that does make me sound just a wee bit crazy) 

A true friend is someone who listens to your crazy babble and doesn't tell you what an idiot you are (however sometimes a little bit of tough love is necessary). Someone who doesn't care if you lock yourself out of the house for the 5th time and need their husband to climb through the window and let you in. Someone who can let you know they care without ever speaking a word. Someone who can just say "Hey, I care".

One thing I have learned, especially over the past few years, is distance and time doesn't make a friend. You can be 13,000 miles away and still be an amazing friend. There are people who you may only see or talk to a few times a year, or once in 5 years, and you pick right up where you left off. It's like time never even had passed. Friends who you know when you really need shoulder to cry on or help standing up, you can call, no matter when the last time you may have talked. 

  

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." And I have been blessed made some amazing recipes in my life. I just hope that I have been just as good of an ingredient to their recipe as they have been to mine.

Whitewater Rafting Success

I am sure you all have been waiting on the edge of your seat to hear about our whitewater rafting trip. Well we did it!  And I have to admit, minus the cold water, we had a blast.

It was about a 3 hour drive to where the rafting company was located. We were a bit nervous as the weather in Shikoku was actually quite cold (68 degrees) and drizzling. But they loaded us in 4 different layers of wetsuit clothing and sent us on our way. I was quite nervous at this point when I saw the transportation vehicle to the starting point. I felt like we were getting loaded into the Scooby Do Mystery Machine.

The scenery was gorgeous. We would like to go back and explore the area further as it is very beautiful and has some interesting scenic areas to check out.

The rapids started off pretty tame but we worked our way to Class IV rapids. There were 15 of us total, so Matt wound up in the same boat with Emily and I was with 4 other of our friends. While it would have been fun to be in the same boat, I think we had more fun watching each other get dumped out of the raft. And believe me, that happened many times. Rafting is much harder than it looks.

Part way through the trip we stopped to allow for some cliff jumping. Myself and 3 others choose to abstain from jumping. Everyone else jumped from either 5 meter (16 feet) or 10 meter (32 feet) high cliffs.  It was quite scary watching Emily jump from the higher cliff. Having said that, I am just happy she didn't follow the young Aussie guide to the 20 meter (49 feet) cliff.

Despite the cooler weather and freezing cold water, we all really enjoyed the trip and would love to do it again. Don't we look like a cold, yet happy, group?

Afterwards we were taken back to the Happy Raft building where we got to put back on our real clothes, look at the promotional photos and video they shot, and had a fantastic homemade bagel lunch. Heck, I would do the trip again just for the bagels.

So overall, I give this little adventure two thumbs up. Much better than any silly hike or mountain climb.

American Summer in Review

Well after 8 weeks in the United States, we are back home safe and sound. Well sound is a relative term, right? I mean really how sound can one be after traveling across the world with 3 kids alone with 8 suitcases containing 408 pounds of junk (yes those were exact weights upon boarding the airplane) and 4 carry-ons?

We had a busy, but wonderful summer. I won’t bore you with all the details, but some of the highlights include:

Two weeks in North Carolina (One week at our old house and one week at our annual beach trip with college friends.)

Four and a half weeks in Ohio swimming, shopping, family gatherings, camping, meeting with friends, a little get-a-way for Matt and I, running a 5 mile race and just spending time with our family. We have to make up for the 10 months we have been gone right?

Five days in Illinois spending time with friends, lots of shopping and helping one of my close friend’s pack for their family’s big move to Omaha, Nebraska.

And finally five days in Hawaii, just me and the kids. It was nice to have some downtime from such a crazy and wild summer before heading back to Japan. I hope the last few days were ones my kids will always remember. I know I will.

(Click on any link above to see many more pictures)

Being back with friends, family and American shopping and food was wonderful. But it was different, very different. I didn't realize how much this move has changed my perspective on things until I went back “home”. But that is a totally different blog post.

So bear with me a few days to unpack and get over my jet lag and I will be back in blogging (and reading!) action. I am sure with my rusty Japanese and lack of driving on the left side I will have some great “Yes, Alexis really did that” stories to tell.

Yes, I am still alive

Wow... it has been almost a month since my last blog entry. The past few weeks have been insane, but things are slowing down.  We took our week vacation to Vietnam (don't worry, I will be blogging all about it in the new few days. It was amazing!), one of my close friends came from America for a week visit (woot woot!), yesterday was Canadian Academy's International Food Day (I am breathing a big sigh of relief now that it is over), and now my husband's best friend is visiting.

I have taken over 1000 pictures the past 3 weeks, so be prepared for some heavy blogging coming up. And with all this going on, there is bound to be a "stupid move by Alexis" in there a time or two.

Kitchen Street - Osaka

On what would be the US's Thanksgiving Day, Mary Gail and I decided to venture to Osaka for a trip to Kitchen Street. Neither of us wanted to sit around home, so we decided to head out for a little adventure.

Kitchen Street is a long tunnel full of stores many local restaurants will come to shop for items to use in their places.


The stores inside Kitchen Street sell just about anything you can imagine, such as aprons, kitchen gadgets, table wear, baking items, sign boards, chopsticks, paper lanterns, contemporary furniture, and even plastic food.


There were several pottery stores, many filled wall-to-wall with bowls, plates, platters, tea kettles and chopstick holders.

I was so overwhelmed with all the cool pottery that I couldn't figure out just what I wanted. After scouring the stores for a few hours all I managed to buy was 8 chopstick holders and a wine bucket –– all costing less than ¥1900 (around $20). I will have to go back soon to select some of the pottery dishes.

After we wandered Kitchen Street we went over to Namba Parks mall where Mary Gail told me she knew of a Hawaiian restaurant that was pretty good.


I was so excited when I saw the menu. In a country where only a few import stores carry turkey one time per year, this restaurant had a turkey and avocado sandwich served on wheat bread.

I got turkey on Thanksgiving!!!

We also split the biggest basket of fries I have ever seen in Japan.

Turkey and the day with a friend -- it turned out to be a nice Thanksgiving after all.

Yes We Made It

We made it to the US safe and sound. Sorry I haven't blogged the past almost 2 weeks. Between massive jet lag, a beach vacation, catching up with friends, managing the kids myself and living out of suitcases I haven't found any time to blog.

But, Matt just boarded a plane and will be here tomorrow night. I told him he was my designated hitter and it was his turn with the kids for a few days. So hopefully once he is a bit less jet lagged, I will have time to catch everyone up on what all we have been up to. Maybe even load a few digital camcorders video on here.

I promise I will get to your blogs too. Sorry I have been such a bad blogger and commenter lately.

An Awesome Surprise

Yesterday I came home from a long day helping out at the school and working on some CHIC things to find a delivery slip in my mailbox. Usually the slips say who the package is from, but this time all it said was "USA".

I bribed Sami to walk with me by telling her I would let her pick out a treat from the grocery store near the post office. The post office is a little over a mile away from our house –– downhill there and uphill home.

I handed the worker my slip and she and came back laughing and carrying a huge box. The side of the box said it weighed 14 pounds and 12 ounces. I about fell over, especially knowing how much it costs to ship 15 pounds to Japan. So uphill I carried this just shy of 15 pound box home.


My super special, full-of-surprises friend Val sent me a taste of "home" package. I think she somehow knew I was a bit homesick. I was totally blown away and speechless.

Sami & I began to open the box. It was like Christmas in Japan.

Sitting at the top was a card and a bunch of pictures. Some of the pictures was of us from Christmas and of the kids from Christmas, and she even sent a few of Illinois and NC.

Noah sent Sami a "love" note and a photo of himself and Maia sent Sami a box of fruit snacks. She was so excited.

Next was a bag with relaxing candles, bath wash and some pretty matches, that as you can see in the note, Noah picked out for me.

Next was this Ohio State tumbler that included a note saying every time I use this Val hoped it reminded me of "home".


Then came the "goodies". Tons of "USA" type stuff from candy to dip and drink mixes to gravy to biscuits to Spanish rice to Chex Mix to almost every item Hostess makes.

I have to admit I was crying over a box full of Hostess King Dongs and Cupcakes. Not that I missed them, as to be honest I am not sure I have eaten them since college, but because I was just missing "home".


At the very bottom was a Mexican cooking magazine, as Mexican food is just not found here, an Illinois newspaper and a Real Simple magazine.

Here is all our stash spread out. The only thing missing is appetite suppresants to keep me from eating all this food.

Little things like this show me that proximity doesn't make a friendship, the heart does.

So thank you Val. Thank you for bringing a smile to not just me, but my whole family.